试图不被来修复我的互联网的工程师发现手淫，并站在我卧室门的另一边！

My internet connection if forever needing an engineer to come and fix things. The phone socket is just the other side of my bedroom door! So I told him I was feeling really poorly and was having a really painful IBS day because I was insanely fucking horny and desperately needed a wank! So I had my TV up loud so that he wouldn't hear me moaning and groaning, and if he did he'd hopefully just think I had intense tummy pains. For a while I may have gotten away with it, but I ended up far far too noisy to get away with it! So it's a good job he had to go and work on the box down the road so that I could fully relax and be as vocal as I needed to be, isn't it?!